FIC/ART: The Hanged Man, The Tower, and the High Priestess, Reversed (DAVE<3JADE)

[asherdashery]

Summary: The Hanged Man, upright: suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice. The High Priestess, reversed: secrets, the need to listen to one's inner voice.

Dave is stalling at the foot of the gallows, but when an unspoken choice is to be unmade, even the most powerful players might reveal their cards. Also, rap battles.


Characters: Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Jack Noir (incidental)
Ships: Dave<3Jade


Category One:
Tags Present: None.
Tags Not Used: Suicide.
No other Cat.1 tags apply.

Category Two:
Tags Present: None.
Tags Not Used: No Cat.2 tags used.
No other Cat.2 tags apply.

Category Three (Optional):
Tags Present: Angst, derealization, reality-bending.




==> Dave: Delay.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at ??:?? --

hey
jade
i know you cant read this right now
youre kind of in the middle of a fight with a random teleportation murderer dog and i guess thats kind of important
but if i dont say this now im not going to get a chance to
and
yeah i know
youd want me to get out of the way
in fact youre probably pissed as shit reading this since i obviously stopped time to pester you
like OMG dave what are you doing you lame stupid fuckass!!!!
or something
where did you even pick that language up jesus christ who the hell have you been talking to since i got caught up in all this
you know time travel bank heist bullshit
like
i dunno what i was expecting i guess
i just figured id help you out and itd be chill and id bring all my unbounded cool to bear keeping your planet frosty after you lit the forge
its been real though
hanging out
and
your dress is nice
but
anyway the point is
sorry
for the tl;dr youre about to receive i mean
and slash or have already received from your pov
i
know whats going to happen
i sort of knew already but i didnt know it was going to be
you know
you
and look please dont be mad
fuck as if theres any chance youre not going to be i mean
i let you shoot me in the back
without saying anything
but i couldnt
i couldnt tell anybody
if i said anything i probably wouldnt be able to go through with it
i
dont think even tz knew
i hope she didnt know
and rose either doesnt know or doesnt care because she hasnt swept in to psychoanalyze the fuck out of my jesus martyr complex yet
probably the former
i mean when does she ever give up the chance to sink her teeth into my delicate quivering brain matter
shes probably still awol anyway
so yeah
theres that
and john doesnt know because john doesnt know anything i havent even talked to him in like three years or something
hes off doing whatever
blowing out leftover birthday candles with his windbag powers
finding his dad
hero stuff
because thats why hes our leader
everything will be ok as long as hes doing his john thing
so
remember that
everything will be ok
no matter what
even after this

i know im just stalling
but

hey its been a while since i dropped a fresh jam for you hasnt it
for good times sake then
or
times sake anyway
this is where you would laugh if i was actually talking to you so i guess ill do it for you
ha ha
yeah that kind of blew

alright anyway ima call this one hangtime
check it

==> Dave: Break it down.

so uh
this is the end or some morose cliche i guess
i should cut my losses now, cut the crap, cut the suspense
cut the air with the ribbitar the atmospheres so tense
cut the scales of life down before i lose my own sense
of balance
its a mess the time god needs to address
accounts receivable debts
so draw your gun to your chest
yeah i said draw but im blanking
caught between the bullet and the barrel im stuck hanging
just another shanking this is how they thank me
rank deal after stank deal but you aint the bank that rang me
someones got to bring the gun to the dogfight
and youll be alright
without your knight
i know jacks shit hes got no bite
and i might
i
uh
jade
i guess i just wanted to tell you that i

wait!!!!!
dave you just sent me at least thirty lines of text
i think i need a minute to catch up!
geez mr coolkid you should really give a girl some time to read :P

wait what the fuck
how
oh my god
youre not supposed to be reading this youre not supposed to BE here
this is dave striders personal magic alone time ok
brought to you by the timey thing
and viewers like you
jade goddammit stop reading

you like my dress??
also why would i stop reading?
now that youve said that i am going to read it all
and you cant stop me!
here i go dave i am reading the rest of this
........

no
jade
please

um
well i dont know what to say!!
but i guess i will start with this
i am not going to shoot you in the back!
there has to be a better way than letting you die because i am not going to shoot any of my friends!
we can distract jack with something and then trap him or
something that is not you dying!!!!!!!
we have decided right now that we are going to make something ELSE happen
we are doing this!
!!!!!!!!!!!

well suddenly i am hella sold
look at all those exclamation points

!!!!

i could take those points and
fuck it i really cant do this thing right now
i can tell alpha dave stops here and
you werent supposed to read this

that doesnt make sense :?

i mean you were but
after
i mean that was my decision not telling you so id be able to go through with it knowing youd be ok
i tried a million other things but
i cant
if i move right now youll
anyway time doesnt work like that
its a carefully calibrated machine that runs on loopy bullshit and dead daves apparently dont worry about it
actually time doesnt work like this either how are you doing this

dave obviously you have never read any physics books!
time and space are interrelated in a way that makes it kind of the same thing
i mean
time moves forward and backward and space moves in three dimensions but ultimately....
wait
arent you supposed to know all of this???
and you are distracting me from the point!
alpha dave is not stopping here!!!
alpha jade is going to stop alpha dave from being really dumb and getting his sorry ass killed!
and then they are both going to go back to catching frogs until the reckoning
when i guess we will figure out something else to do to just keep living
and THAT is an order :/

hey so about your dress
i just cant stop looking at it i think i can see forever which is pretty comforting considering
actually i can see forever and then i can see your shoulder blades
can a guy tell a girl friend shes got really nicely sculpted shoulder blades is that like an accepted social practice

do you really mean that? u-u

i guess
but like
i can also see jack
and
if i move out the way
youre the one
who shoots herself in the back
and i cant jade i seriously cant

wait!!!
you are trying to change the subject!
you know mister you are very good at trying to avoid the topic...
but i guess i can indulge you just a little bit since time is still stopped and we are standing here
i dont know if it is an acceptable social practice
but if we were in a normal situation or maybe on a date or catching frogs or something i would probably say thank you!
and that your shoulders are also not so bad

swoon

but.....
maybe i would also say
that you are kind of handsome and...
well no i cant say it its too embarrassing!
and you are distracting me
dave please
you already said that jack cant hurt me
just step out of the way and something else will happen
please :(

nope
convince me

uuuuuugh fine!
i am going to make you see that not dying is obviously the smart and best solution
by doing it in a coolkid way
are you ready???
i do not think you will ever be ready but you should get prepared!!

i have to be moved jade harley and i dont come from no swing state
dont leave me hanging

yo sup dawg im j-sizzle
here to rap to you
like a super coolkid and not one that is being dumb and wont step out of the way of something that is going to kill him!
oh shoot i used punctuation just pretend i didnt do that

oh my god
hahaha fuck
yes sing me the song of my people

okay um
ummmmm
shit hold on i have to think about this!!!
hey we have known each other for years
and this is kind of crazy
but i told you why you should not be dumb
so listen to me
maybe????
(please??????)





there!
was that good enough?

did you just
bastardize some song at me
like is that a real song that exists it sounds like the kind of dry shit you scrape off a shovel at the dump behind the local zoo after an e coli incident

hey i saw it in the clouds okay!!
it seemed like a catchy song at the time
but then again i was asleep
now that you mention it maybe it should stay in a dream :/
but the earth is gone so it doesnt even matter!
my rapping was great dave
so you should admit it and move out of the way!

ok that one i know
since when did you listen to ludacris
cease and desist girl
but hey listen to this
i know you insist and that youre probably pissed
but on the scale of things i dont even think ill really be missed
i resisted my fate like sburbs little bitch
but if a heros caskets waiting better stretch me to fit
and if its you
and you really needed me there
i almost dont care
priestess just whisper a prayer

dave.....
how can you say that no one will miss you?
i will :(
dave you are one of my very best friends
and i like you
why would i not miss you????

i meant like
in the big picture
you know compared to time and space and planets and stuff
i dont matter so much
you got the frogs and i did what i meant to do
trying to get at jacks like storming the tower of london with a pinwheel so theres no real point
so
yeah
this isnt hard i dont really have to do anything at this point

you do matter!!!
ugh you are so stupid sometimes
for someone who thinks he is tough shit you are acting like a five year old!
or someone who wants to hang himself for fun or something
so i guess i will have to show you what i mean when i say that i like you and i would miss you
here i come
you cant stop me!!

==> Jade: Hug the shit out of Dave.

You successfully comply with the narrator’s wishes and indeed hug the shit out of Dave. And also kind of tackle him to the ground in a successful motion because Dave is a wimp!!!

oh shit
you moved
and also moved me
this isnt what i meant you like bodily removed me from the oh christ you really can see the bullets behind me
they were like two inches away from entering my spine
holy shit

==> It: Break down.

You feel it like the terrible squeal of a needle across a record except it’s across you: you’re time, you’re space, and both grind and shudder to a stand-still in every nerve of your body.

Nothing changes--no. Nothing moves, but the colors no longer mean anything. The snow has turned pale pink. Jack is a frozen violet shade leeched of power and bleached of menace, and the blood-red flowers have shifted to the blue of cold lips, the blue behind your fingernails.

You’ve been cut loose. Free fall with no fall. Your inner ear tries to stabilize you but then gives up, because what is balance without gravity? You are completely disoriented, and the only natural colors left in the world are your bodies and the endless stretch of stars.

if i didnt say it already
holy
shit
jade i think you broke timespace

good!!
that is what i was intending to do
i dont care about what you needed to do to make the alpha timeline continue or whatever you were talking about
we can make our own alpha timeline now
one where no one has to die in order to make a happy ending
because i care about you a lot
and i guess while i am kind of awkwardly on top of you i just wanted to say
well
i like you!
in the like you like you way
but also in the best friend way!!!
both of those ways
<3

oh
i guess that explains why youre still hugging me
i was starting to wonder if maybe i
jammed the tape or something
you know in a last ditch attempt to make my last memory something pleasant
and you know
wish fulfilly
unless thats the thing whats been happened here
did i die
is this dave striders personal valhalla where jade is actually like
all over him and cute as shit about it and stuff
pinch me

==> Jade: Do him one better.

You kiss him.

==> Dave: Be kissed.

Oh.

Jade Take-No-Shit Harley, the indomitable furry, the dork of Bathsheba, the island girl who decided that collecting half-frozen frogs with you was an occasion worthy of an evening gown studded with stars--the girl you came to die for--is sprawled on top of you. An anchor in this timeless space. She’s warm and bony and her lips are against yours, her hair’s spilling over her shoulder and tickling your--

Back it up.

Her lips are against yours.

Now you’re kissing her back and it’s nothing like you’ve maybe imagined, there are teeth and noses and the click of glasses and your face is still numb. Now your hands are curled around her hips like a parenthetical expression.

(You love her.)

A tiny noise spills out of you almost like the terror in your throat since you saw that your timeline cut short at thirteen. You’re thirteen and you don’t care, time’s gone and you don’t care. Now she’s pulling back to look at you, now the stars are in her hair, now, now, NOW is the biggest thing you have ever experienced, the biggest thing the universe has ever experienced, because she is the universe and you are ever and NOW--

She smiles as you reach up to cup her face, and all around you the stars spin and curve in, spacetime itself bends around you like a bubble because Jade Harley’s smile is a hadron collider and nothing can resist that supermassive pull. Not time. Not space.

Not you.

This time (time?) you kiss her. As the dream bubble floats out Jackless and blueshifted into the void, you swallow your giddy disequilibrium and manage a one-pixel smirk.

shit jade
i sent you thirty lines of text trying to say that maybe
i like like you too





[[Bonus: The unflipped version of the Jade Harley High Priestess card]]

Comments

[cest_what]

Oh, this is great. Gorgeous art, really fun and affecting pester dialogue.

[blottingtheink]

This is so unspeakably wonderful. They're adorable, and I can't say how much I adore the breaking of spacetime and the reveal of the dreambubble, and how much it didn't feel like a SUDDEN! OH MY! reveal, but something I suspected, and yet, hadn't been sure of. Really, really wonderful.

[jelajade]

very cute and the art was really very lovely!

[ellipsometry]

ahh this is so great. the dave dialogue especially is really snappy and fun to read. and lovely art too wow what a nice piece :')